Ladki Hona Paap Nahi???

Couple of days back, we were sitting and chatting about our future and old age and finances. Just in discussion, my husband call our daughter as "My Son" and instantly he changed it to "My Daughter". After this, my daughter disappeared for 5 mins from the room and when she came back she had her school's Annual Magazine in her hand.

(some background on this magazine) It contains all events performed during the year and also poems, thoughts, stories, pictures written by students.

She came to us and tell us mom-dad please listen to this "Ladki Hona Pap Nahi!!!" - a poem written by one of the students. We (me & my husband) both were dumb struck and were thinking what is it that we said prompted her to get this book and read out the poem to us. Then we realized that we were talking about our future and in same my husband mentioned that we need to be independent in future since we have a girl and we can not rely on her for our old age (which is true even if we would had a son). While saying so he forgot that she is around and might be listening. OR we thought that she is too young (she is 8 years) to understand this but we were wrong.

This incident opened my eyes and i realized that my girl is no more a little kid. Suddenly i felt like i am a Mother of a Girl who needs to be real cautious and start giving learning lessons to her girl. In the environment we live, every other day you hear, a girl is molested or teased or shot. I am afraid and frighten to see my daughter growing. The thought makes me worried. Is it really true "Ladki Hona Pap Nahi!!!"? I grown up in safe environment in Gujarat whereas in Delhi/NCR the life is totally different. After reading news and hearing incidents around, you always give a 2nd thought, Do I really want to live life in a city where there is no guarantee if you will be safe while returning home or going market and give this life to your girl?

I see so many girls at work staying alone, managing all on their own and also taking care of their dignity. I have friends who grown up in Delhi and must have passed through similar experiences we hear in news. I would like to ask all of them, Is it really that bad around? What is it that I can do to make my girl safe in such environment?

Forget Me!!!

What if i don't think about you!!!
Will you still be there in my thoughts?

How will I come to know if you'r still in my thoughts?
Its only when i think about you!!!

Then how shall i stop thinking about you???

(thought says)
Don't think about me,
And i will not be there in your thoughts.

I will haunt you till you think,
Stop thinking and i am gone!!!


#### Is this possible?####

My kid is growing...

Disha is going to be Eight this January. She is growing up really fast. When she was very little I was thinking, when will she grow up and takes care of her own things. Now when she is quite young to take care of her day to day routines, my thoughts are taking me in past. I am reminiscing  those old days. When i used to carry her - close to me, in my safe hands, with all my warmth. When she spoke her 1st letter & 1st word. When she took her 1st step - those balancing acts and efforts, looking at me with the feeling of achievement after walking that step. When she 1st time ate her food using spoon, when she sang a song (3 full lines of a song).

Now, when she converses with me, its more like talking to a friend than a mother. I am enjoying it. She is more confident, more assertive, more accepting as well rebellious (sometimes), very emotional (hardly show any), very understanding (that scare me sometime), intelligent, playful. When i look at her, I think, "Dishu you look so big. You are growing up. Please stop for a while. I want to enjoy your this age and don't want you to become mature. I want this free bird like kid."

Today, she gives me time, talks to me, want my company, likes to play with me, likes to fight with me, loves me. I can still carry her (although with struggle) and hug her as tight as i want, kiss her as long as want. She likes it, wants it, enjoys it, feels happy about it. She has started asking me "Mamma, you only mine na??". I always reply her " Yes babu... I am yours only. You are my lovely child." Not sure why she has started asking this. But she likes that I am only her possession and not anybody else's.

I always ask myself, Tomorrow, when she will be grown up and in her teen age, will she converse with me or want me and my time like now? And the answer comes "YES". I know, if now I am giving her time, tomorrow she will definitely give me time and we will have same fun as now. Although such days are far but looking at today's urban world/westernization, with exposure to televisions, cartoons and friends in school, I am worried for tomorrow.

Delhi Darshan after CWG

This Sunday, my family agreed on going to have lunch at Andhra Bhavan. They serve "Andhra Thali" and somehow all of us are quite fond of Andhra Food. So, we went to DELHI. From last couple of weeks, it was all about DELHI=CWG/Kalmadi and I had not visited Delhi during CWG. So it was a pleasant surprise for me looking at CP (Connaught  Place) and India Gate & Rajpath areas of Delhi. Sharing few pics here from my Delhi Darshan after CWG.

Raj Path

President's House/Rastrapati Bhavan

Raj Path

India Gate

And here comes Navratri !!!

Navratri - Nine nights of Garba, Dandiya, Puja, Aarti. Dashera - The day when Ravan - the demon got killed by the God Ram.

That's the ancient definition of Navratri & Dashera. Now comes to the modern world where Navratri means, masti, Garba, Dandiya, fun, food and lot more.

In Ahmedabad young girls & boys are so excited about navratri that they start preparing for coming nine days before few months. Preparations??

Oh!!! Yeah...

• Beauty parlor appointments
• Shopping for new Chaniya-Choli or Kediyu-Dhoti - 9 pairs
• Shopping for matching jewelery/accessories 
• Shopping for matching footwear
• Ticket bookings for famous party plots where these Garba-Dandiya are going to organize.
• and more 

Please note that this could be the outdated list since i have not attended A'bad Garba from last 10 years. In Gujarat, Dandiya nights goes till 4 or 5 in morning. Gujju enjoy it to the fullest. Nights become days and days are lazy and sleepy. I recommend each non-gujju to must visit A'bad, Vadodra, Anand during Navratri and feel the energy in the air. It will be memorable experience. For few it sounds like a madness or craziness but for gujjus its another chance of enjoyment, fun and stress free time.

Gujjus are known for their celebrations and enthusiasm for any festivals. And they are die hard fan and follower of Navratri-Garba/Dandiya. I stay in Noida - Delhi and when Navratri approaches, my search for places where dandiya party takes place starts. Now, we have a Gujarati group in Noida and this year we are organizing 3 night dandiya mahotsav in Sector-50 Community Hall. I am planning to go there and enjoy each bit of it for 3 nights. I am also a die hard fan of Dandiya and whenever on any Gujarati Channel i see garba, I start performing same in my TV room. My daughter looks at me with puzzled & questioned face. The emotion i see on her face is - "Mom what are you doing and what are you up to.... Please stop it.... :-)"  As soon as i hear sound of Garba or Dandiya music, my legs start feeling the thump and my hand start feeling the movement. Wow!! What a feeling... I think Punjabi people might be feeling same when they hear Bhangra music or song.

I have plan to enjoy all 3 nights of navratri and forget all my worries.

Happy Navratri to all!!!!

"Ba"

I am missing my Ba (Dadi) a lot now than earlier. I lost her on 8th Sept and then after I am continuously thinking of her and the things I wanted to say her or time i wanted to spend with her. As a Dadi one think of her as a very orthodox and old fashioned one. But she was totally opposite - Always encouraged me to try new things, allowed me to do things my mom used to deny for. Whenever I visited her, she was sitting on her THE Chair and waiting for me. And whenever I left A'bad she was always there sitting on her THE chair in veranda to say good bye. That's her place in veranda where she sat every evening and kept an eye on what all is going on in society.

I still remember the days when she cooked great food for me when i used to come from school or college. She was an expert in cooking great gujju food; be it Undhiyu, basundi, dudh-paak, lasan ni rotli or anything. Whenever i fall sick, she cooked me lasan ni rotli and dudh. I am having chronic back pain and whenever i call A'bad, she had these 3 questions ready to ask on phone 1.) How is Kumarbhai? 2.) How is Disha? & 3.) How is your back? Keep good care of it. You are still too young to have this problem.

She was very very attached to all the kids in house. Be it her grand children (me, my brother and my cousins) or her great grand children (my daughter or my cousin's daughters). Always saved us from parents' scoldings. She was a pillar of our house after my Dada. She never took a retirement even after her grand daughter-in-law came in. Her that quality making all of us to remember her since she was always attached and involved in all sorts of conversations. She never felt lonely be it in my friends gathering or my dad's friends gathering. She had topic to talk about with everyone.

I am going to miss her a lot. My parents are in US and whenever i visit A'bad people ask me "who is there?" and i used to say proudly "My dadi is there". Now i will not have that to say. I was lucky enough to have my grandparents with me all through my childhood. I recently visited her in May and that time I could not spend quality time with her as I went there for 2-3 days. I will always regret that I wanted to say few things to her i could not tell her or wanted to spend some good time i could not do it and will never be able to do so.

I learnt a lesson that never think i will do it tomorrow, do it today. Want to say good things to someone, say it now; want to visit places, visit it now; want to try new things, try it now; want to do things you like, start it now. You do not know what will happen tomorrow.

Love you "Ba".

Good to be or not??

To be sensitive is good or bad? To be perfectionist is good or bad? To be particular is good or bad? To be reliable is good or bad? To be hard-working yet keeping silence about your work is good or bad? To be loud and brag about your work is good or bad?

People who are hardworking, silent, reliable - Are they getting what they deserve? Or People who are loud, brag about their small work done, not at all perfectionist, not at all particular - Are they getting more than they deserve?

One should be what you are or one should change based on situation? One should leave own good qualities or one should stick to it?

Till date, i am able to stick to my own qualities, my culture, my roots and most of the times i never got disappointed with results. But looking at the trends, shall I change myself?